Prison 101

Try to make sure you have some money in your pocket when you go in. Of course you can't be expected to know when and where your going to get arrested but if your going to court to get sentenced to a prison term bring at least enough cash to bet the bare essentials and a television. If you go in empty handed you are going to have to wait until you get and fill out visitation forms and set up an account with the prison system then wait till your visitors get approved before they can send you money via money order. A money order takes a few weeks to clear and then hit your books before it will show up on your account and some prisons only let you go to the commissary store once every two weeks so with all this added up and combined you could possibly be looking at a month or two with no money or food and nothing to do but stare at Arsenio Wall. It's a prison joke, don't worry you'll learn it. Anyways, bring some cash or something you can trade for a T.V., beard trimmers, an electric razor, a cd player or radio, and some food and clothes. I recommend tobacco, not drugs because you don't need another court case if you get caught. Tobacco is only a class A ticket which means loss of commissary which you won't be going to anyways with no money on the books yet so don't worry about it. Maybe loss of phones or recreation too but that is short lived and you can work around it depending on the Corrections Officers in your Dorm or Block/Pod. If you are going to have to do the majority of your time in a cell then a television is a must. Without it you will slowly lose your mind. It's fine if your celly lets you use or watch his T.V. with him or while he is gone but that only works for so long and what if he gets transferred? Two inmates in a cell with no T.V. and nothing to do usually leads to fighting and problems. Entertainment is a huge part of keeping inmates under control. T.V.'s are like babysitters. Little 11 inch, electronic babysitters. Hey, you take what you can get inside. If you don't have any cash on you or contraband when you go in then you better have a hustle or learn one quick. You can usually do any type of contracting work or some variation of it inside a prison as a service to other inmates for trade in food/electronics. You better learn this shit if you want to survive.

Prison 101 Tip

When your locked up doing your bid time moves much faster than you would think. In fact it moves faster than it does when your in the real world. The hardest part is filling that time with things that will help you become a better person than when you went in. I recommend taking any programs offered to you as well as signing up for any programs that relate to your case and why your locked  up to begin with. Not only will this help in making you a better person and solving your issues but it will look good in front of the parole board and for potential employers when you get out of prison. There are many of these types of programs to choose from though the list gets smaller and smaller each year while the waiting list to get into them gets longer and longer. Anger management, addiction services like AA and NA as well as specific drug rehab programs are offered and even high school education programs to get your GED. What else do you have to do that is really more important than gaining some tools to give yourself a fighting chance when you get back into society?

Prison 101 Tip #18

Where you are in any individual prison can determine what you have access to. Being in any intake pod, dorm, or block can lead to some great acquisitions such as sneakers, clothes, weapons, even drugs and sometimes a cell phone if someone can fit it up their ass. All of these items can be yours if you position yourself in the right way. First you need to find a way to move into an intake area if your not already in one. Second you need to secure a job in said area to ensure that you won't be moved or transferred. You want to do a good job and stay under the guards radar while also getting them to like you just enough to want to keep you around. If you can manage this then you will have access to everything knew coming into the prison or jail from the street including gossip which people will sometimes use to their advantage as well. I suggest you stock up on lots of Ramen soups and food because that is what hungry new intakes will be looking to trade their wares for upon admission into the facility. You need to hurry as well because not only will others be after the same products you are but typically new intakes aren't housed in these areas for more than a week before being moved. Once they are gone forget about whatever you were trying to get. It is almost impossible to get contraband from one unit of a prison into another in a state facility without either the guards permission or someone that can move freely around the secure areas of the jail. Even if you already have enough sneakers, clothes, and other shit to last ten lifetimes I suggest you continue stock piling in case you get shaken down and lose some of your inventory or you get transferred and robbed by other inmates in the AP room of another prison. Inmates steal, period. That is what they do and why they are called inmates. Most of these people belong where they are and quiet a few are there for stealing so it should come as no surprise that they would rob you just as fast, if not faster, than anyone else. Other prisoners are not to be trusted no matter what deal or offer they have for you. Cash or goods up front for any product or service provided. It wouldn't hurt to help out new intakes with a nice pair of sneakers or some food every once in awhile if you are successful at running this kind of hustle inside. This is one of the best hustles you can find and most lucrative with least amount of risk available. People bring all kinds of shit with them into jail, and usually are willing to come off of it very cheaply especially when driven by hunger. Like I said, keep those summer sausages and Ramen noodle soups handy. Good luck!