Prison 101 Tip #3

This tip is probably not something most people want to hear and I'm not advising that anyone act on this tip unless you know what your doing and are willing to accept the risks. If you are about to be sentenced and know your going into prison on a certain court date or day then your going to need some money. You have a few options here. 1. You can take money with you to court and depending on the state the Marshall's will hold the cash and put it on your books for you once you get into the prison system so you will have it on your commissary account. 2. You can set up an account and add money to it from the outside before you go into jail or do this from jail through your family or friends if your willing to wait a little while to go to the store. 3. You can bring something of value in from the outside world with you. I'm not just talking about sweatsuits and sneakers. I'm talking about tobacco or drugs of some type. Even a very small cellphone if you can manage it. Once your are admitted into the jail or prison, the Correction's Officers will strip search you and make you  squat and cough in case you have hidden anything up your ass. This is the ONLY way to bring in contraband. There is no other way unless you know a guard and have it pre-arranged or set up. If you are going to smuggle something into the prison up your ass you need to at least double wrap it in a balloon or two or three. The more you can fit up your ass, the more you can bring in with you and the more money you will make. Make sure to cut the balloon string as short as possible without leaving it too short where it will become untied, making the contraband worthless and possibly killing you if your bringing in drugs. When squatting and coughing make sure to not drop all the way down and to clench your ass cheeks. Otherwise you will lose your meal ticket and face another court case from getting yourself an outside charge on the first day. Once your contraband is into the prison make sure to get it right out by taking a shit. If you don't trust your cell mate then put up a sheet and don't let him know what's going on. If he can be trusted make sure to share whatever you have with him or at least hook him up with some of the profits. Get rid of it ASAP because word travels fast in jail. When you don't have it out keep it hidden somewhere in the cell or back up your ass. This is disgusting but that is life inside. It's not pretty and you need to do what you have to in order to survive.